


Her bright smile haunts me still

by Skatebird



Category: Legend of Spyro, Spyro, Spyro the Dragon (Video Games)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Closeted Character, Cynder POV, Established Relationship, Exploration, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Spyro A hero's tail, based off song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 14:36:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14239401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skatebird/pseuds/Skatebird
Summary: Cynder and Ember bond over a similar love, but also hate themselves for it. (4/4 completed: updates to come)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -oh, I'm not sure if there is fanfiction or story out there with a similar basic premise, I havnt been active in the fandom until this year. So I am sorry if this cuts close to another. Its still sprinkled with my trusty existentialism and angst and hopefully Cynder's POV is refreshing
> 
> -Sparx and Hunter are excluded, to not complicate the crossing of two different spyro storylines sense sparx is treated very differently in LOS and the original series.
> 
> -I suppose that means im also erasing Spyro’s origins in the LOS series as this story heavily implies his youth was spent in the classic games
> 
> -Inspired by an old folk song by the same name, originally by Frank and Anne Warner from like the 1800's its got lots of covers though. Here is a cover I personally enjoy this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WdEddFPvt4
> 
> -UPDATE 9/5/2018  
> 4/4 POSSIBLY 5 CHAPTERS COMPLETED  
> -IMPORTANT: I have dyslexia! It will be a while before I fix all grammar and spelling errors in my fan fictions. Thank you for understanding.

“I’m surprised you haven't asked me yet.”

I try to throw him a confused look but he isn't even looking at me. This is how it's been ever since we left on a trip to The Dragon Kingdom. I did understand this would make it hard on him regardless, and, if it were up to me, I would have never agreed because I hate seeing him beat himself up time and time again. You can't change your past. No matter what you did, people will choose to see you for who you were, or who you are, and there is nothing in between or anything you can say or do to make them choose any different.

But all that doesn't matter now. He wanted to do this. We are flying over the last hill to The Dragon Village, and Spyro will either hate it or love it. One feeling remains certain though, and that is what I love. More specifically, who.

“Wow” He gasps so softly, I can barely hear it over the air rushing past us and my beating heart.

“Is it at all what you expected?” I ask because, that's probably what he would ask me if I ever got an opportunity like this. Again, not like I crave this. This isn't about me anyways.

“Oh Cynder!” My mate began to shed some tears and flap his wings excessively. Now how do I show my concern when we are flying? Goddammit, I still struggle with my empathy. So I decided it's time to land. Soreness is to be expected for how far and long we flew. We land on a grassy cliff. Everywhere in the valley is either grass, tree or stone. Very homey and welcoming for dragons, unless you were raised by Malefor himself. We catch our breath and take in the warm village. This is not about me.

“Spyro? Are you okay?”

“What? Yes!” He blinks out the last few tears, but allows them drip down his cheeks openly. In his face, and body language, he is showing a side of himself I haven't seen since we shed our armor after the world was saved from Malefore’s force.

“It's nice here” I finally insist. I smile.

“Thank you Cynder. For coming with me. I was so scared this place might have been destroyed after what we did.”

Now he is looking down in anguish and I am slightly annoyed. Only because I have told him over and over that we did our best. That there was nothing more that we could do. That we won. The world was shattered and then mended. But I leave it alone for now.  
I lick the dry scales of my lips and smell the sweet air. Flowers, plants and honeybees. This place really could have been destroyed. It's just hard for me to understand how beautiful things must have been for everyone, before. Yet spyro grew up in this. Yes, I do like to think thats why his heart is large and majestic.

“Asked you about what?”

“What?" He says. 

“You are surprised I haven't asked you…"

“OH. You know, about Red and the other dragons I got to know here.”

I ponder this. Spyro always lets me take my time. Patience has always seemed to work out in our favor, no matter the circumstances, so we stick to it.

“Well, it didn't seem necessary. They were apart of your past.”

He seems a bit down or even searching for the right thoughts and feelings to even respond with. I try even harder to be delicate with him. Better go on ahead to cradle the situation. 

“Spyro, you love me right?”

That gets him to smile boldly, so I continue.

“Even after all I done, you have shown me your love. It would be unfair for me to do the same. For me hold you up against your past. Sure, you actually ended up doing alot of good at such a young age, but even if you did stuff like malefor did-”

“But-”

“- you are you now, and I love you for who you are, now. “

It's time to stop talking. He relaxes his wings and we walk together down the cliff along a stone path. There isn't a whole lot in the sky. No dragons, no birds. Skittish fluffy sheep are bouncing around us. As we enter the stone archway in the wall guarding the village however, dragons. Young and old, playing, laughing, talking, buying, selling. Living. I have never seen so many dragons in one place in such a long time. And apparently, neither has Spyro with the stupid grin he has on his face.  
It wasn't long before one of them nearby approached us out of curiosity. An old dragon. Very, VERY old. So old his skin sagged on old bones. I was certain he was blind in one eye and he had to put all his weight on a cane.

“Hello young dragons.” It took some breath to form that sentence so he paused to weeze. “ have i not seen you here before?”

“Really? I basically grew up here”

Spyro and the older blue dragon gave each other a long hard squint to see if they could remember each other.

“We have not had newcomers in years. The village has been peaceful ever sense Red was defeated.”

“That was me! I defeated Red!”

“...Spyro?”

“Yes!”

“Oh my look how much you have grown”

He was again, stopped by a dry cough. That's when I noticed a fungal growth of some kind on his foot. Did they not have medicine or magic to get rid of it? This dragon didn't have long.

“Elder thomas?”

“yes?”

“Oh! I haven't seen you since I was a kid!”

Pause. No reaction from Elder Thomas, just a long deadpan stare. Of course I was starting to feel uncomfortably restless (Wouldn't everyone in that situation?) His breathing never stopped being dry. And crispy.

“And you are?”

“...Spyro! You know that! You just said that!”

“Eh?”

“I said: you just said that!”

“Said what?”

“Spyro!”

“No I didn't….you did”

“...what?”

“Hey do you want to hear a long...long...story, young dragons?”

Passersby gave ridiculed glances. Spyro wasn't going to stop this madness by himself and sparx wasn't here to help interrupt. I was to do it.

“Sorry um, elder Thomas, but Spyro and I need to go meet up with a friend he hasn't seen in years now.”

Ever so quickly, I nudged Spyro along past the clutter of noise, clanging of metal, and smoke from cookers, dragons everywhere bickering and bartering, towards a small dome structure embedded into the backdrop of pink petal trees that dominated this land. Away from the crowd, he put a paw on my chest, looking very much annoyed at me, but slowly I watch his purple eyes soften.

“I don't know how I am ever going to get used to this.”

Used to the death. The elder dragons, HIS elder dragons. I watched him desperately clinging onto what is left. Spyro is an orphan raised and loved by many. The world he once saved, is leaving him. This is why sometimes I feel he had it worse than me, not ever knowing what any of this was like. Again, Spyro wouldn't want me to say anything like that right now. Instead, I hold him close with my wing. Take your time.

 

“Oh. My gods.”

We both swivel are heads up and there is a pink dragon staring at us with the biggest blue eyes i've ever seen. She's stout and only assume shes close to our age.

I knew it was to be expected but I think I should have been more prepared.

“...Ember?”

She was shaking, visibly. I don't think her eyes could fill up anymore of her face. I took note of her small gold tiara and heart-shaped tail tip, flicking about like a warrior’s whip. Oh no, I think she is going to squeal.

…

The petals flittered all around us from the warm breeze.

“I can't believe you remember me. I mean we were kids…”

“Crazy right!? Oh and-and this my girlfriend Cynder!”

“Hello…” I say.

“Spyro what are you doing here?”

You gotta be kidding me.

“Well…”

If I have to watch him stumble over himself like this any longer, I will spit poison. He’s clearly flustered.

“I guess you didn't hear the news...That we almost destroyed your home.”

“Oh Spyro.”

We exchanged glances, but she smiled warmly and walked towards A larger dome like building. She beckoned us to follow her. On the outside, these structures all looked pretty much the same. Light stone architecture. But upon entering, I realized there was truth to her crown. The room was not a throne room per say, but a formal meeting room of sorts. It was glamorized up with sparkling periwinkle floors that made a nice click when your claws hit it. Large circular windows allows light to bounce off a large quartz chandelier and explosion of pastel rainbow speckles dances across the room. It wouldn't be my choice of decor but it was still wonderful in its own right. Things felt fixated but moving. Busy but stable.

Inviting us to sit at the long stone table overtaken by flowers, Spyro and I explained our story. We left out alot about me and how we met but that wasn't important. We told her diligently about Malefor destroying the planet. Towards the end of it, I caught myself feeling rather missing Spyro, even if he was in the same room.

“Then, there was a huuuge earthquake! Much of our buildings were destroyed and rebuilt. But the important thing you know is that the dragons elders left after you did. I guess they were needed elsewhere. And that's when I took charge!”

Her voice shifted around, as if she was surprised herself by what she was telling us. It started to irritate me. It would get on anyones nerves after a while. From the looks of it, Spyro seemed happy for her, and well, I was too. That was a lot of responsibility for a dragon our age. I don't even think I could babysit an egg right now.

“That's great! But, what about Thomas?”

“Ah yes..So he decided to stay and train me. I learned everything I needed to know from him, but, he was already retired when we began so, we keep care of him now.”

Spyro nodded, trying to take it all in gracefully. I just wanted to know how much truth and power were in her words.

“So you flew all the way from the floating Islands? Then I insist you stay the night!”

“Welll…”

Without hesitation, my paw in his, to such reassurance. It was settled. Ember could be seen a mile away with the amount of generosity that shines out of her, but that wasn't a matter. Spyro was absolutely exhausted. The problem is he wouldn't rest unless I was there to tell him it was okay to do so. Our day was finished with quaint lamb meal and a small stone room. Too tired to do much more than curl up together. One thing’s for certain though, and that's how strange this living world truly is.


	2. Chapter 2

Chained together by our necks, Spyro and I quickly learned alot about physical boundaries. How to be apart, together. There is no doubt of my fortunate circumstance. He was always a gentleman, even in war. Holding his wing out for my stumbles. Always making sure I came out on the other side. Only recently however, did it not make sense to be apart, even if we now could. Well, not now anyways. Spyro needs me and I made a promise to a certain dragonfly. Therefore, when I could no longer feel his soft scales against mine, I was certainly still in a sticky fog of sleep. My eyes open to this reality. I awoke as I usually do; fast and with a twitch in my legs.

I immediately rush from the room and out the front of Ember’s intoxicatingly beautiful home, from where we entered. I took note of the village just out the front steps. It was already warm and sunny. Somehow it was less busy than yesterday afternoon, but felt more cluttered than ever. A robin chirped for his potential mate. Who knew so many dragons would choose to live so close to one another? Like the flocks of sheep! And then of course the constant sprinkle of cherry tree petals no one could avoid if they wanted to. I look around frantically. I just fail to understand why the-

“Good Morning Cyndy!”

I feel a stranger’s paw on my back, the same time I spin, claws and teeth first, straight into them. A scratch my right claws makes deep into my enemy. A pink cheek. That uncontrollable rage surges through my body. My muscles remembering what it feels like to fight so much for so long, again and again.

…

It was like the whole world focused in on Ember’s bloody face. My thoughts are in a hurricane. I think I apologized but my mouth felt like it wouldn't close properly. And she wasn't making any noises. Just squinting really hard and holding her face with her front paws. We could of froze like this forever. Simply acknowledging one another. It was she who finally spoke while hissing through the pain. I swallow hard. Her direction immediately turns around and I follow her back inside. I don't know what to do or say so I just, follow. She is magic and I am a fool.

“Its...okay.”

Ember quickly recovered a rag once folded neatly upon a kitchen self, to press to her cheek. She doesn't even wash her face or anything first. The lavender cloth is thick and I see no blood or tears leaking from it.

In a near chuckle, she says “It’s been awhile since I've been in a fight.”

“Ah! N-No! We are not fighting I'm sorry, I'm sorry…”

“Woah! What are you even apologizing about?”

Does it ever get better? Here I am, frozen in fear and tired emotion once again, ruining the lives of my own kind. I don't want to start spewing everything that I ever did in my life. So I take a deep breath, in and out and close my eyes.

“Don't call me “”Cindy””. You just startled me, thats all.”

“Ah.”

This did not make anything better. The less she responds, the more tense the air grows around us. The house is without oxygen whenever there is this silence. I was never good at this and if Spyro was here, I guarantee it would've been a breeze.

“I don't know any healing magic.” I say at random, surpassing the temptation to apologize even more.

...

“You're going out looking for him, huh.”

“Have you seen him?”

She winced again for the thousandth time and the pressed the rag up against the cut again. No blood still, while I was mercilessly staring. The room was cold.

“Well, didn't see him this morning, but that's to be expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, he's always, well you know, off on adventures, doing heroic stuff.” She let out an arrogant sigh that sent chills through my scales.

“Not without me, or at least telling me.” I say firmly.

“And how long have you known him?”

How long she says. How long! Rediculous.

Time. This can't go on forever. I snarl. The room is dim only light from small circular windows. Heat is rising in my chest. It's not often that I lose my temper. The scratch was an accident. She’s got the most adorable voice.

“Please, just, just stop asking these ridiculous questions!”

I step forward with a grimace. She brings the rag down because the blood is beginning to clot. Actually, I think there is a lot more to what she is doing to communicate right now. Her face expressions and body language are solid, yet subtle. I just can't quite read into it. Vocal and then silence. Ember could quite possibly be an anti-social celebrity. A diplomate of joy, and charisma, yet lives alone. She's also a female. The female. As in, the only other one i've seen for as far back as I can remember. I'm just going to use this as my explanation for the next series of events that take place.

“Do you want to go fly with me?”

I nod. The ice melts. Oh god does a house feel small when you have traveled as far and wide as my wings have. Maybe her idea of a good time, was the same as mine, looking for Spyro.

Together, we cut through the market, taking a clearly different dirt path than when spyro and I first arrived. I try to not look to enticed by everything. Or guilty. Ember is taking lead in confident strides, like a productive mother. Thankfully, the village wasn't as busy as yesterday, or, at least not yet. Then I quickly remember the scratch and of course i'm terrified if anyone will take notice. My stomach feels sick imagining Spyro’s disheartening gaze. Well, it’s best to stick with Ember for now. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. But getting on the local’s bad side is just not an option right now.

 

Ember leads me out the east side of the village. Peering ahead, I was expecting more rolling hills littered with sheep and small bushes. Instead, I was greeted with a long through not extremely steep ravine, very similar to the ones in Avalar. The gold of Ember’s heart-shaped necklace glistens, as if celebrating freedom. I just realized this is the longest time I've spent without Spyro sense we met. Is this what it would always feel like?

The pink dragon lifts off the ground by pumping her wings hard and fast. She doesn't seem to be as fit to flying. Its fine. I immediately take to the air, thinking at first we were somehow tied by a magic collar and I was to keep up with her. But this was not the case. Unintentionally, I let out a gasp in pleasure and close my eyes. Just feeling the cool refreshing glide with no one else to worry about. I could dream in the air forever. Maybe not of poison and death and control. Maybe not of light, love and happiness. I just dream of nothing...nothing and nothing.

This could have been forever a dream, but Ember begins to speak, sending me back into flapping frenzy. She carves the sky to gather beside me. In the corner of my eye it appears she is struggling to keep balance in the air. Tail flicking, body wobbling.

 

“We could go anywhere!” Ember shouted near my face louder than she really needed to.

I thought about this and almost smiled. For a moment, I was compelled. A lurch of something inside me that I can only describe as an even more heightened feeling of flying, but of course, it was passing as quickly as it came. Turning into a realization of my personal predicament. Without Spyro, I was surely lost on what to do and where to go. Here I was finding myself already hopelessly standing by mere acquaintances of his. As selfish as it sounds, it's times like these when I'm actually relieved Spyro doesn't have close family besides Sparx. A dragonfly. I don't have much to compete with and above all, I am afraid to admit this to anyone.

Looking back at Ember (at this point, I have easily rocketed past her plump body forgetting she existed) it’s clear to me she is not going to help me look for Spyro. She is looking directly at me, unalarmed, no, not worried in the slightest about anything that happened this morning. Must be nice. It was discouraging, so I would have to use Ember in a different way.

“So um, how did you two meet?”

“Huh? Me and Spyro?”

“Yeah, It seems you two go way back.”

She flaps her gimp wings to a frustrated thought.

“Well… I suppose we do. I, like, had a huge crush on him when I was little.”

“Oh, I guess I can see that.”

“Ha, Well, you can see how that turned out. “ She laughs for me and rolled her eyes. I don't say anything until she starts speaking again. It seems to be a touchy subject, strangely.

“Anyways those boys are not really interests of mine anymore.”

“Oh, I mean no disrespect to your leadership. I’m sure you have many responsibilities.”

She laughs hard and loud, but not mean spirited, rather, one of her classically bright and playful giggles. Admittedly, they are starting to grow on me. Anyways, we are up higher than the ravine edges and the only thing that can touch us is the cool northern winds. Then I realize she is not wearing her royal uniform from yesterday. This makes her look rather youthful surrounded by the blue sky. I wonder how she thinks of me. A long time has passed before either of us realise how long we have been staring into each other’s eyes.

My search for the right words are beginning to to falter. Now I can see now why Spyro gets so flustered around her. I really can. But this isn't a choice. I must always be careful what I say from now on.

“What is it?” She is a little somber this time.

“I’m realizing how ridiculous this is.”

“What is?”

“The past. Your past. And mine.”

Ember spits a single wad of fire. It disintegrates almost immediately touching the sky. She leans her head up, and loops around. A an entire backflip in the sky.

“Can I be honest with you Cynder?”

She used my real name this time. Well, I don't see a way out of this. I listen out of some obligation.

“Yes of course.”

“You are, such a downer! I just don't see why Spyro like likes you.”

I bring my head down immediately in submission. The ground below is quickly becoming brownish and sticky. A swamp. I honestly am trying to understand this one.

“We are two very different people” I admit.

“Who? Me and you?”

“Well, yes but I was referring to me and Spyro actually.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don't have to be, it's not your fault.”

“No, I mean i'm sorry for how I treated you. I’m sure you make him happy.”

My stomach is scrambling. The trees below look like they are setting in a sticky green soup. We stop and rest anyways. Gliding down to a dry-land protrusion, covered in wet ferns. It's not pretty in the eyes of most, I don't even know why we chose this spot, but I can't deny something was changing. I wasn't breathless, but I let my wings hang low. Even after all the flying I had been doing the past few days, It still felt good to exercise them just a little, but I didn't want to overdo it. It's important to remind myself, that I am allowed to be vulnerable. Ember leaps like a horse over to me.

“We should start over!”

“Uh okay”

“I’m Ember, and I really really want everyone to be happy.”

I look into her eyes, twinkling. She’s adorable. There definitely is no doubt to her youthfulness, but she puts on a demeanor that lets others know her playfulness should not be treated lightly. Shes passionate and blunt and itching her wing.

“Your turn.”

“Oh okay. My name is Cynder, and I am...lost.”

I can't stop thinking about Spyro and Ember. Together, Apart, with or without me. So many odd thoughts I cannot begin to describe, are assaulting my mind. I open my eyes and Ember is sitting on her hind legs, tail curled around her plump bosom. She’s looking up at the dreary sky. It's starting to rain. Spyro said this place was covered in Red’s wrath, much like Ignitus had caused. Now the swamp was quiet, still, barely clinging onto life through the insects and small fish, the frogs mocked us with a song of croaks. Yet Ember begins to speak and it feels right this time. It feels warm, serine, like fire.

“I feel like, we should forget.”

“Forget what?”

“Our past.”

I’m slightly agasted but she keeps going.

“I’m lonely, and your lost. But you can't be lost if you are found, and I cant be lonely if I found you.”

What what are you saying? I don't say anything out loud, my eyes widen at her stout body. The world is out of focus except for her. Her.

“I like you Cynder. I wish I met you sooner, but all that matters is here and now.”

She turns to me. Blue eyes deepening. I’m furious but also, my heart won't stop fluttering. I stammer, trying to word something, I’m not one to get flustered. You don't know me I insist. It’s not that simple I insist. But if that's the truth she has come to know, how am I to disagree.

“You are something.”

Sitting next to her, shoulder to shoulder, feeling the rigorous effort of keeping the peace finally wash over. Something about this still feels tricky.

“And I think your land is rather beautiful.”

“I try to keep it that way.”

She smiles up at me and I get it.

“But there still is so much you have not seen!”


	3. Chapter 3

Together we fly along the swampy saggy treetops. It's not as depressing as I make it sound, I assure you. It’s just happens to be the way that I am, I suppose. That is what I have been told, anyways. Especially from Sparx, but when did he ever shut up? There is Something I could admit now that I am away from the boys, and that is I actually admired sparx. Is that weird? Most would call me crazy. A murderous dragoness who is jealous of a little dragonfly? Why would any dragon stoop that low? but its true. Sparx has been a companion and a friend, and yeah, he didn't really like me, but at least I knew that. He wasn't subtle, Everything you needed to know would come out of him eventually. Nothing was ever a secret with him. ….wait why did I start going on about sparx so much?

Oh yeah, Ember, I'm still with ember. She hasn't stopped smiling since we left the swamp bluff and it's filling me with an unquenchable reeling. I have no idea where we're going and i'm scared to ask, though I probably should. I crane my head around. We are flying west-ish. The smell of the swamp is uncanny, but at the same time, you get use to it quickly. Actually, leaving it was when I truly noticed how bad it was. It was the clean, crisp air of the valley that decimated my nostrils, overwhelming me with a sense of clarity, in every form. During this moment, I could feel myself becoming white and light as a cloud, my feelings became nothing more than pink flower petals. The same ones that danced around the quaint village.

I only peak open my eyes to peak at Ember, and see her relentless enthusiasm as she flips through the sky. It is quite amazing to see her fly actually, for there is no reason to add as many twirls and somersaults as she does. All this time, I thought I enjoyed flying, but this one perhaps enjoys it much more. She has made it into some kind of dance. Do I even dare question it?

The scenery changed as trees began to dwindle and dissipate, and exchange for moss, grass and then sand.

“I come here to think.”

We alighted down to a divine cove, a beach. The sand was a hint of pink, but seems washed out compared to her highness, Queen Ember. Still, it contrasted nicely with the large wooden wheels embedded into the cliffs that surrounded us. She trots ahead, and I watch her leave pleasant footprints in the the wet sand. The wind whips up the warm salty air and I gasp quietly.

“I cant believe all of this was going be destroyed.” I add. I say this only after quite some time had gone by for me to think. careful and slow. I stare off to see the miles of clouds and water circulating the planet.

“Something tells me you said that already.” The way she says this, feels obnoxious, but not nearly as painful as before. This time, it's soft.

“Yeah but, Ember, you really are living in paradise.”

She sighs wistfully, sitting next to me to join me in watching the horizon.

“I appreciate you say that, but.”

I don't know exactly why at that moment I decided to grab her paw with mine. It's hard to describe but we both just kinda shutter. Like the world around us was still and peaceful yet powerful enough to make us feel so insignificant. shaking us hard like driftwood. As if we, well known across the land as mighty and powerful dragons, could simply evaporate into cool ocean mist.

“When Coastal Remains and the rest of the land was invaded by Red and then Malefor, I did nothing. I fled. I told Spyro I would wait for him, that I would help. And what did I do? I abandoned him.”  
She wipes tears from her eyes with a claw. Tears that are hardly noticeable from the ocean’s spray. I probably could have started crying in that moment too. No one would have known, (We were completely alone after all) but here is the thing. I can't cry. No really. Maybe before I was brainwashed, but ever since, I struggle with the thing called empathy, its dusted upon me however, when other dragons cry next to me, that I need to be strong with them. Right now, Ember depends on me for...something. What do I even say?

“Listen Ember, you can't change your past. you never know where your life will take you, but you have become a fair and gentle leader im certain of it, and thats proof.”

Redundant I know. She leans her muzzle onto me completely wrapping our necks into each other. I swear my eyes are closed but I can see her still. 

“I have made mistakes! I'm not a saint.” She shakes, voice wavering, anticipating.

“Me neither.” I whisper, but boldly so.

In loud silence, we melt into each other. The tide wooshes by our feet. A wreck of bubblegum and blackness. We are one. Like a dream. I feel dead. I feel alive and picture perfect. I don't deserve it. I kiss her and she peels away only for a moment. We have a hard time looking into each others eyes, but we manage to do so. Just as fast however, she continues what I started and kisses me around my snout and then on the tip of my mouth. As a single unit, there was no room for much pain. She goes for a nip on my neck somehow in between the steal worn collar.  
Ember must have noticed myself freezing in pleasure because she asked “Is it okay.”  
I could barely speak. I didn't want to anyways.  
“Yeah T-h-hat's good.”  
Yet something burns up inside of me as if telling me that if I didnt push her down on the sand and wrap my wings around us like a umbrella, I would combust. Her tummy is soft as you would expect. Under my purple wings, I feel prepared to take on this stranger. She lets out a small “yip” and I growl.

...What are you?...  
...Where are you?...  
...Why did you hide for so long?...

Ember is completely okay with me, so I continue to rub on her. Feeling a gentle numbness that shakes me as we explore each other’s bodies. I'm confident of getting her to climax but surprised when she makes me (And I can't say receiving came all that easy.)   
Pollinated black flowers painted limitless on our bodies and our tears carried on some kind of healing wrapped up in physical embrace. She needed this. Generating a nice even temperature as our flames ignited our chests. Tumbling into the sunset of the the day. We never came to our senses. I was lost in a sea of affection and understanding. Was this what I had been missing? All I know is what I have found. Sure it was euphoric, but only in a erupting blindness kind of way.  
I’d like to think that screaming sense of empathy is what kept me going, but lets face it, this was selfish desire. I love the way she says my name.


	4. Chapter 4

I dont know what I expected.

The realization came gradual. I awoke exactly where we left off, affirming me that yes, what happened certainly did happen. Ember was still asleep beside me, perhaps with my wing draped upon her body. She looked rather stoic, and gentle as ever. I yawn and stretch my claws out like a tiger and imagine her being a mother. I swear I will always treasure that thought, considering I was raised by a ruthless excuse for a father and there was nothing I could do about that. A bright smile and a warm egg. Exausted, cute and bruised, coming home with a moutfull of fresh kill. A greeting of warm kisses when the younglings are finally asleep. 

Anyways, Spyro is standing there, with only a respected ammount of sand and fog between eyes. in which His eyes have never been wider.  
Oh.  
At first, he didnt look at me, but I was compeltely terrified. There's only been a few times i've actually been scared in my life and even fewer, did I show that fear. Here and now, I held nothing back. (Why should I?) 

I give him a stare as im getting up to speak to him, but no, actually, im waiting for him to say something first. Please say something first. 

"I need to know everything is going to be okay." I hear his voice in my mind. The fog moves fast between us like milk in a saucepan. He seems translucent himself and his voices is low and raspy for the purple dragon, so bold and ever brave.

"What?" I gasp.

Again, words seem to go straight into my brain.;

"What am I supposed to think?"

"I dont know" I attempt with the same telepathy.

"but I dont ever want to hurt you. I just-"

I feel Ember's body beside me stir, stronger then ever. 

"Weeeelllll you left without saying anything!" She cries.

"So did you!" Spyro shouts and spits a flame, but his anger isnt violent. He is hurt. I hurt him. 

And I cry when I realize this. That he has been hurt. Im supposed to not cry. But The tears come rolling in like one long suppressed memory. Its painful and straining, as ive forgotten how to do it right, my eyes stinging from all the saltwater.

"What are you on about?" Ember pouts.

"Just, Ember..." He hisses through his teeth in frustration. 

"...just because I didnt reciprocate your feelings, dosnt mean I wanted you to, to disapear!"

"I, I sidnt mean to. I just. It wasnt like that at all and you know it!"

Faster now, the two of them bare their teeth and erect their tails and wings.

"Stop just stop! I hate this!" I protest, even though none of them are speaking anymore.

But the temperature reaches its pitch. Ember completely charges Spyro head on. Of course, this is a bad idea for many reasons. For one, because spyro has attacked even me before. Most of the time it dosnt hurt. Most of the time. Of course im talking about accidentally in battle. It happens, but this...  
Instintivly, he guards with his wings wrapped around him and her horns pierce through the scarlet membrane. I would have been relieved he didnt try to scorch her if not for the loud cry he let out. This was no ghost. Upon this dawn, Spyro was real and he was ball of wings now ripped from embers strike. He will now have a hole in his right and left wing, forever. 

Inhale. 

I screech, covering the beach with my shadow, fear. Nothing but the smeared blackness, splotches of red and my own glowing wrath. I still get a rush from it if im being honest. I find them stunned only moments later. Spyro, stunned, unatually posed in a ball and Ember is behind me, trying to regain her senses as she struggles to stand. And me, in between them.

"Now listen to me, both of you!" 

It dosnt take too long to come up with my decision. They cant stop me from admitting the truth. 

"I have learned a lot about myself in the past few days. Maybe that dosnt effect you, but I learned something you need to understand and that not everything is my fault. I cant keep blaming myself! , Ember and I, we... I'm sorry Spyro. I am sorry that I was disloyal to you I really am. You dont deserve that."

I back away from both of them with the realization that they were indeed listening with their undivided attention. I look at them but they look at each other.

"But I have no idea what happened between you two! I mean, I kind of know from stories, what you tell about each other, but I wasnt there, so therefore I will never really truly understand what was it you two had or did or, or whatever!"

I pause to catch my breath before I rise to hysterics. No one likes to listen to an hysterical speaker, someone trying to admit they felt something powerful. I half expected Spyro to say "You are okay, you didn't do anything wrong, come on, lets just leave now all of this."

Instead he scratches his arm and says;

"Well Im sorry too. I mean You must have been worried"

Before I could figure out how to reply, Ember steps foward.

"Spyro, I didnt leave to worry you. And I shouldn't be upset that you did either. I mean, I highly doubt you did it to hurt me anyways. I can be selfish, its not your fault that im like that." 

I know she was referring to all those years ago as kids, but this got me wondering, about where he was just now. Overwelmed, I fail to ask this. Instead, I take to the sky, flapping hard and fast to get airborn through the fog, I rise up and out to clarity. As soon as I do, I am alone. I forget about Ember and Spyro and everyone I have ever known. For the first time in my life, I feel an odd sensation in my heart. A flurry, like a feeling of freedom, but this time, less exciting. There is nothing to run to, to look foward to. Yet, whatever the future intels, well, i just might be okay with that. 

Whatever happens now is now of my control. Please don't stop Cynder. You know spoke candidly. This all started out so simple. There is something understandably wrong with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo this is going to get a few revisions! @u@' uuuHHHHUHHHHH I GOTTA GO TO WORK thanks for reading!


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